ARTICLE NUMBER - 5 - CHAPTER TWO
BELIEF SYSTEMS, STANDARDS AND VALUES!
If you can't explain where your belief system, standards and values are coming from,
then watch out, they may not be your own!!!
If you are not aware of this and if you actually don't know your own beliefs, standards and values, then how can you change them?
The answer comes from asking the right questions. Once we are aware of our values, we can choose different reactions, which will lead us to more responsible and different paths of life. Therefore, with the right values, we are in a position to change our social system for the better. Whatever happens to us in life, it is of no use to blame this system. If you do, you have found your first victim position.
Our system is far from being perfect, but it is the only one we have at the moment.
ANY SYSTEM IS BETTER THAN NO SYSTEM
If the system is not working, then you and I, the people have to change it. If you live in a system you dislike, but don't do anything to change it, then you are not believing in you.
If you do believe in you, you would have the strenght and conviction to do something for the better.
BLAME!
Blaming, criticising etc., is of no use at all. Don't wait if you know that you have to change something, other people are also waiting. People are always waiting for somebody else to "fix it"; these people wait in their victim positions. Don't be a victim. If you are aware that the system is not working then change it, or go to somebody who can change it. It is your responsibility as much as anybody else's.
You will now set out to find your various victim positions, this will help you to become aware of your BELIEF SYSTEM, STANDARDS and VALUES.
The most common factor in any victim position is:
blame; blaming somebody, something, the system, those politicians, our parents, our teachers, our partner, our boss, our job, the inflation, the high interest rates and of course one really big one is:
BLAMING ONESELF
The list is endless. It is always easy to blame somebody or something else for our misfortunes, to blame oneself, or sit down and cry "poor me" and still not do anything.
How many times have you told yourself, "this is not my fault," or "I can't help anything,
she/he did it, I couldn't, they wouldn't, etc."
QUESTION TIME:
Who do you blame? Your mother in law, the traffic light, the doctor, the politicians, the business owner for not giving you a job?
Look into your own situation.
Who and what do you blame? Why? What is your excuse? Write it all down. Some of your blaming may even come in handy, in learning how to create new goals for yourself.
Another frequent victim position is STRESS. Stress comes in two forms.
The first is the one we deal with in the victim position and in that form stress is just a short word for saying: IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
I am sure you can recognise the victim-blame position again. Take a moment and think about the stress in your life.
How did it originate? Work related, relationship, money issues?
Did you cause it yourself, and if so, can you also solve it?
The second form of stress comes from circumstances you have no control of, like the death of a loved one, disaster situations, etc..
Emotions of grief, loss, sadness, confusion and anger which always follows in such situations will be highly stressful. Interestingly enough, all those emotions are more or less designed to help you overcome such a stressfull experience.
Each emotion in its right place, at the right time and for the right duration is helpful and positive, and turns only into a victim position if you indulge in one emotion and stay with it. For example; being sad for the rest of your life and blaming your sadness on the person who died, or indulging in self pity.
Still more victim positions to come.
CRITICISING, JUDGING and NAME-CALLING are similar to BLAME and JUSTIFYING.
... to be continued ...
Excerpt from a workshop & book - published 1993 - titled; "Do you believe in You"
www.usenature.com - Dieter Luske ©
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