Article extracted from a workshop & book called:
DO YOU BELIEVE IN YOU - by Dieter Luske
... all following articles, are written as workshop manuscript
... questions were asked to stimulate active participation.
ARTICLE NUMBER - 4 - CHAPTER TWO
Victim Principle (Counselling)
(I would like to change it to: "The Creative Principle :-)
Before you read on, get some paper and write down what you appreciate about yourself. Please do that now and take some time thinking about it. It is very important that you do that. Do It Now! -- ( will be discussed in article 14 - Affirmation )
One big lesson we all have to learn, (even if we know it already) is that we are each responsible for ourselves. Not understanding this fact of life will bring misconceptions, hardship and the victim position itself.
What is the victim position you ask? It's coming up now!
This session will start making you aware about your own responsibilities and how you can choose to accept them and work with them.
AS LONG AS YOU ARE A VICTIM, YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE IN YOU!
Throughout life we are confronted with facts.
What are facts?
Facts are: rain, war, peace, a car crash, crime, sunshine, a kiss, progress, a broken window, a birthday present, a divorce, a wedding, reading this book, time passing, anything and everything!
Facts have got only one thing in common; once a fact is a fact, it can't be changed!
A FACT IS A FACT AND THAT'S IT, NO WAY BACK, NO RETURN, NO CHANGE, THAT'S IT!
We have got three facts right now:
The first fact: "our self" - You are the fact.
The second fact: "that we are confronted with facts at all times."
The third fact: if we can't change a fact, what can we change?
The answer is: WE CAN CHANGE OUR ATTITUDE!
This brings us to one of the basic in mind-management techniques, the ability to actually CHANGE something in one's mind. In this instance the attitude!
What kind of mind-management and how much you believe in you depends entirely on how you react when faced or confronted with a fact. Facts are happening continuously. The passing of time is one fact, how do you like getting older by the minute? What is your attitude towards age? Look into the mirror, what you see is what you get, a fact. Do you like what you see? Your whole life from the moment you are born right to this very second is a fact. Can you change it?
Let's look at how we can change our attitude if confronted with a fact.
The scene: A picnic is planned for Sunday morning. Everything is ready, all your friends are invited, the food is prepared, the drinks are on ice, etc. You wake up and it is pouring with rain, and no sun in sight.
That is a fact; can you change it? Think about this kind of easy fact for a while; how would you react? What would you do? What kind of reaction would this fact bring out in you?
There are basically two types of reactions to choose from.
The first one could be; what a #@$*&0/o@$+)*A%#%#@, lousy day! That's it! I hate it! This always happens to me! No picnic-why me? I knew that would happen! Stuff this! etc.
The second one; it's raining, that is certainly good for my plants, looks like a great day for a indoor party, etc.
The fact of course is quite simple: It is not a lousy day it is not a good day either,
it is a rainy day, and that is it. You may as well enjoy it. The rest is all attitude.
From now on, we will call the first reaction the VICTIM REACTION and the second reaction the CREATOR REACTION, and guess which one we will use in mind- management?
It will not be the victim one, you can be sure of that!
As you may know, or may have guessed, (or are going to find out), we are very good victims already - most of us, most of the time!
We certainly don't have to learn more about how to become a victim. To manage our minds we have to learn to be aware and to recognise our victim positions, and then to change our attitudes to a creative position. We also have to be aware that it is our responsibility to choose the CREATOR REACTION and therefore choose to live a life of truly understanding responsibility.
You would know, that there will be always facts in your life which you definitely do not like. Does it come to you as a surprise, that 90% of people are constantly victims, and some without knowing it, or worse, choosing it?
WHY WOULD ANYBODY CHOOSE TO BE A VICTIM?
Because it seems easier to deal with problems and a lifestyle you know, than it is to CHANGE and face something you don't know.
Choosing mind-management means choosing the creative way of thinking. Falling back into the traps of the victim way of thinking, may mean a further loss of self-esteem and self worth, making you even more of a victim. Are you still interested in mind management and choosing reactions which are creative?
- Could it mean you have to change your attitude?
- Could it mean a bit of hard work and some confrontation with yourself
- Are you willing to change?
Let's look now in detail into the victim line of thinking and let's SEE, HEAR and FEEL, how much this is part of us. You may not even want to know all your victim positions, but that is your own responsibility.
For any CHANGE to manifest itself, YOU have to be aware of what to change first. You do that by asking questions of yourself. You are more likely to answer truthfully to yourself than to any other person, so please, don't fool yourself. Throughout this book I will ask you certain questions, and these questions will help you to call thoughts into your awareness, which you may not have had before. This will be your "homework', and naturally it is up to you to do it, or not to do it. I am not standing behind you with a big stick.
You may want to list these questions separately, as some will be appropriate for you and some may not. Funnily enough, reading this book a second time, may bring out other appropriate questions for yourself.
Here comes one of the major questions. Others may be hidden in the text:
"DO I WANT TO BE A VICTIM?"
If "NO," then change your attitude and change it NOW!
"THE POWER IS IN THE PRESENT"
What does this mean, the power is in the present? It means action, - action NOW! We may have good intentions, good ideas and so on, but unless we put them into action we remain powerless. The point of change has to be now, as this is where the power is.
You have no power over the past and no power over the future. You may think you have power over the future, however the fact is that you never can determine or predict what will happen.
THE ONLY POWER YOU HAVE IS "NOW".
If you don't change now, you are more or less with the same circumstances tomorrow, that you are with today.
If you are poor today, unless you change something right now, you will be poor tomorrow.
WHEN DO YOU CHANGE? -NOW- !
Everybody is born perfect, and everybody basically wants the same thing, which is:
LOVE, TO BE LOVED AND TO LOVE SOMEBODY!
There is nothing wrong with YOU or other people. We are all perfect, but we have been contaminated with thought pollution, we have been conditioned, sucked in to all kind of "marketing". Most of that thought contamination came from our childhood and our basic data-line education.
We grow up with the rule: "do as you are told." Most information we take in as a child, we take it in as truth without having the ability to check it out.
A lot of our so called truths came about through misunderstandings and by taking on values and believes of our parents, families, teachers, societies, cultures, religions, ideologies, books, magazines, TV - everthing whihc surrounds you.
Excerpt from a workshop & book - published 1993 - titled; "Do you believe in You"
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