Holistic Lifestyle Counselling

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ARTICLE 7 - Chapter 2 - Mistakes

A mistake is only a mistake if you don't learn from it....

WITHOUT MISTAKES THERE CAN BE NO LEARNING.

Actually, without mistakes we would be still living in caves. There would be no invention, as only by making mistakes will we learn how to correct or invent something.

So, it's O.K. to make mistakes, go ahead, make many mistakes, learn from it and make appropriate corrections.

MAKE CORRECTIONS RATHER THAN REPEAT MISTAKES.

1. A mistake ONCE is just that, a learning mistake, learn and correct.

2. A mistake TWICE is a reminder for you to wake up! It is a pat on your shoulder, something has happened, and you should take more notice.
   There is something to fix up, to learn, something to correct.
   Please, take note, start correcting, don't make the same mistake again.
   See it as a learning mistake, correct it and go on with your life.

3. A mistake made THREE TIMES (wow, you better wake up)
   This is called a default response. (stuck in a deep groove)
   You are not learning, you are not listening, you refuse to feel the pats on your shoulder and you are waiting for the "Mack truck" to hit you.
   You are stuck in a victim position. Most people who frequently repeat the same mistake are in denial about the real world around them, it's only a matter of time before someone gets hurt.
   There is an urgency here, some loving people around you may have planned already an "intervention". But there is still time to become aware and take the proper appropriate steps out of this groove.
   

A default response means reacting over and over to the same facts with the same mistake responses.

A typical victim response. There seems to be no choice. The only way to get out of it is to wake up to yourself. ( before someone else does it for you)

You actually have to force yourself to react with a correction, and EMERGE OUT OF EMERGENCY.

Your belief system is telling you that you can't do it any other way. Luckily, by now you know what can't means, and you know who is in charge of your belief system.

So, ask yourself, "DO I WANT TO BE A VICTIM?" NO-NO!!!!

My favourite saying can be applied for mistake counselling as well: "If you do what you always do, you get what you always get".

If your relationship always brakes down at a certain point in time, or you never can hold a job for too long, or you always seem to make the wrong decision or simply can't decide, those can be all common mistakes, which need to be recognised and unraveled. They can be dealt with like any other problem, by asking specific questions.

Asking general question, brings only a general answer. If you ask, "what is wrong here"? You will not get down to the real problem. You need to ask, deeper, more specific question, such as "what specifically do I always do on my 3.date"?

EXAMPLE of a simple behavioural mistake:

If you get up in the morning and the only way to get going is to have a cup of coffee, than you have a default response, because you seem to have no choice. You have to apply Rule Number 2, and do something else.

In this case simply refuse to have that cup of coffee. As you will notice, that will create a real emergency for you, "help, I need my coffee."

An emergency will stimulate your creative juices. In other words, you force your creativity to come out, think of what else to do and emerge out of your emergency!

You will have to do something else, like having orange juice, or perhaps go for a run, a swim, do yoga, have her tea, a quickie, a new type of breakfast, do affirmations, do anything else BUT drink that coffee.

You need to interrupt that pattern to get back in control.

Once you have control, you may even have a coffee again, but this time out of "choice" not out of "necessity".

Sooner or later you will have created a second choice. But to be really flexible in life and have true choices of what and how you like to be in life, you need to know at least three different ways of responding. Two ways are not a real choice, more a dilemma :-)

Finally be aware that it was your belief system that gave you the illusion that you could not be without your cup of coffee. So change your belief system to something you would rather believe in: You can be without your coffee if you want to.

Before we go deeper into belief systems let's have a look into a few things we could change to be more flexible and of course to be more proactive.

Let's call it the Proactive Change List, and please add plenty of your own things to change.

... to be continued ...

Article provided by the Editor - Dieter L. Gold Coast

Excerpt from a workshop & book - published 1993 - titled; "Do you believe in You" www.usenature.com - Dieter Luske ©

 

Next: Article 8 - click >> Pro - Active Change List

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