The Soul Dance of Family Constellations
Article by Yildiz Sethi ©
Many of us look for connection and self development through spiritual work, meditation, teaching, coaching, therapy or healings. However, most of us are blind to the biggest spiritual tool we have at our disposal. Coming to a place of peace and acceptance of our roots, regardless of how difficult this may seem is it. If we can do this, it connects us fully with our life force, leading to spiritual growth and more inner peace.
Cutting ourselves off from family and looking for connection in other ways, is only an escape of this fundamental reality, that is part of our ultimate life purpose. The fact that many of us seek to escape our family of origin is understandable, as we often don’t know how to cope with its complexity and often its harshness or dysfunction.
However, the development of Family Constellations with its shamanic style healing rituals will allow you to see your soul energy and what it is telling you. It will also seek to connect you more healthily to your roots, so that you can receive your life force in full from your ancestors. This is a highly respectful process for all concerned. Being more connected, will free you to live more in the present and to make the most of your life and relationships and be happier and able to pursue your spiritual path more whole heartedly as well.
It is a way of looking at the soul or life force energy of an individual and also that of the relationship, or family group in which you belong, to allow you to see the bigger picture across generations and also your solutions. The energy shifts that take place in a constellation take place in you and also ripple out on the energy field that connects you to the people concerned (in real life), in a positive way, causing over-all change, because we are all connected.
What is a Family Constellation?
Usually in a workshop situation you set up the people of your issue, using representatives from the workshop and placing them in different positions from each other in the room, according to a what “feels right”.
(The real people involved are normally not present.)
From this point onwards, you observe the process, as the representatives start to pick up the energy of the real people involved, even though they know nothing about them or your story. From here on, the facilitator guides the process and releases emotions and finds the Orders of Love that give strength and healing to you and the system. This is an intuitive and psychotherapeutic process that heals on all levels, if your issue is one that is generational in nature.
We often carry unresolved past generational patterns with us in the present.
Examples of family constellations
Difficult parent/child relationships
This is the family constellation of a woman who was unable to have a good relationship with her daughter. The facilitator asked a few factual questions about the family history and then set up the constellation with representatives. The woman also had a difficult relationship with her own mother. Representatives of the woman, her daughter and her mother were set up. The feelings and physical positioning of the representatives were noted.
The woman is loving but can’t make contact with her daughter, who is angry with her. The woman is then turned to face her own mother. It is clear that she doesn’t respect or accept her mother. Some time is spent here in allowing things to be put back into their rightful place until the woman and her mother are in contact and feeling comfortable. Now the woman is turned to face her daughter. The daughter has become interested in coming to a resolution with her now. The constellation finishes with the family system feeling relaxed and comfortable.
If you have a difficult relationship with your parents, it may be difficult for you to have a good relationship with your own children.
When a relationship breaks down.
This is a family constellation of a divorced woman who was experiencing difficulties in her subsequent intimate relationship. A constellation was set up with representatives of the woman, her ex-husband and her current partner.
The woman’s ex-husband is feeling very sad and hurt. She can’t look at him and says that she feels anger towards him. In seeking a resolution, it’s discovered that the woman is finding it hard to accept responsibility for her part in what went wrong between them. Once an appropriate resolution is found and accepted, the couple is able to let each other go. This frees the woman to focus on her present relationship.
A relationship that has broken down needs to be resolved completely, before you successfully go into the next one. Many of us know this intellectually, but it is often difficult to do this fully for ourselves.
An unresolved parent child relationship.
This is a family constellation of a man who had a difficult and unresolved relationship with his mother. His mother died when the man was seventeen leaving him feeling bitter and angry.
A constellation of the man and his mother is set up. The man’s mother reports feeling “cut off” and unable to focus on her son. The son reports feeling sad. Gradually the mother turns from the son. She feels pulled from behind.
The man’s mother is turned around to look at her father. She experiences great emotion here, first anger, then sadness and then abandonment. Her own father had died when he was a child. She had very much missed her father. Once the situation is acknowledged and the mother is reunited with her father she is able to turn around with her own father behind her to give her strength and make a connection with her son. The constellation is over when the mother is honoured and respected by her son and she is able to wish her son a fulfilling life. The son is feeling connected to his mother.
The man may now be able to take part in a good loving relationship with a woman as he now has his mother in his heart.
Yildiz Sethi is a Family Constellations practitioner, counsellor, hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner & Vedic astrologer. Yildiz has always had a fascination for understanding karmic cycles & is now using Family Constellations to resolve the negative patterns that bind us. She is a very experienced & insightful facilitator.
Yildiz is a facilitator and trainer a member of DGfS and ISCA and conducts workshops on a regular basis in Sydney and Brisbane. She is also probably the most experienced facilitator of private constellation sessions in Australia and can be contacted at:
The Abundance Clinic Ascot Brisbane 0412 172 300 - www.familyconstellations.com.au
