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Supportive Communication

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Article by Dieter Luske

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Supportive Communication

Communication is THE most important aspect of Human interaction.

Communication has a direct impact on War - Peace - Religion - Ideologies - Politics - Relationship, and on all and everything.

Being that important, one could be tempted to think that is would be taken more seriously and taught more effectively.

We all learn to speak, but speaking is far from communicating purposely.

Communication can change the world.

Interestingly, effective communication is much more used for it's negative asspect and power, such as persuasion, bullying, arguing, inducing pain, marketing useless products and ideas.

Communication is in direct relationship with Attitude. That is the reason why it is so powerful, and why it can be used to change the world.

By changing the way we communicate from negative power to positive, from argumentative to supportive, we change attitude at the same time.

That change works both ways:

you can learn supportive positive communication - which will change your attitude to supportive and positive.


you can change your attitude to supportive, and therefore will adopt a supportive communication.

Looking out there, onto our beautiful world, inhabited by an inherited good natured human race, you could wonder ....

... why the heck is it so mixed up, why has it so many violent destructive elements, why are people, countries, religion, politics, ideologies working incredible hard to give each other hell, make each other wrong?

In my opinion, it's mostly Communication and Attitude, obviously there are different things too, greed springs to mind... but lets not get into everything in one go, lets stick for the moment to communication.

How can communicating and attitude change anything?

Because, a "Supportive Communication and Attitude" can be easily learnt, practice and spread out all over the world.

There is no need to make anyone wrong; .... actualy there is no need make countries, parties, religion or ideologies wrong.

Quite the opposite, support them, that way, they don't have to prove themselves right.

That's what it all comes down too, everyone wants to be right .. which just doesn't work!

It should be clear by now, after centuries of struggle, there is no overall right, we all grow up differently, with different perspectives on life, which has nothing to do with right or wrong, it's just different.

By supporting that difference, by communicating supportively to that difference, instead of constantly arguing about something which never will work out to the good of all, we can live happily ever after :-)

Now, what actually is supportive communication and how can you practice it with just some minor word changes.

Practice supportive communication - everywhere - politics included. ( esp politics :-)

Meaning, you support by listening and supporting another person in their endeavour

There is no need to make someone wrong in order for you to be right!

It is O.K. to agree with someone, as you are agreeing to what that person knows at this very moment.
In agreeing you give that person self-esteem, which will help that person to listen to you, without defending their view.

This is called: "Supportive Communication ".

In using supportive communication you support that person to get their message across.

Supportive Communication :

It is important not to use that devastating word BUT.

Using But means you negate everything that your communication partner has just told you, which will bring out defence and therefore attack.

Instead of BUT, simply use  "AND". - Try it, it is magic!

Positive Language:

State what you want, not what you don't want!
Concentrate on the positve and what to do.

Example positive: -
Save and plant more tress. - Positive action - you are not accusing anyone.

Example negative:
Don't cut down trees. - You are accusing someone, who will now be defensive and fight back.

Partnership communication:

Please support your partner, by communicating your support.

If you communicate "point scoring", arguing all the time, you have no partnership.

It's like one person against the other, the result is always ZERO.

Supporting each other, equals at least a TWO, if you have synergy even more... meaning your partnership results in a lifestyle which is greater than you ever could have achieved by yourself.

This is easily translated into countries supporting each other... etc.

Use the word COULD instead of SHOULD - Should implies guild.

Making someone feel guilty is not supportive communication.

Listen to the world around you, you will hear at anytime destructive negative adverse communications.

Most of it coming from politicians, trying hard to prove themselves right and everyone else wrong, after all they try to win an election.

It's not what you would call inspiring, supportive or being a role model.

Have the awareness and move yourself out of this negative never ending spiral of destructive communication.

Start within you partnership, support each other, it's sooo much more fun, creative and healthy.

Article provided by the Editor - Dieter L.

Click for support or more information > Counselling - Coaching

16 Aug 2012

Last Update: 22 Aug 2012

Article/Information supplied by Dieter Luske

Disclaimer - Any general advice given in any article should not be relied upon and should not be taken as a substitute for visiting a qualified medical Doctor.