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Finding our way home

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Article by Ernest Frost

Finding our way home

NLP as a discipline has some underlying core beliefs or ‘truths’ which we call presuppositions. These beliefs come from the people who were modelled in the early years of NLP; therapists like Milton Erickson, Virginia Satir and Gregory Bateson. It was their beliefs and how they thought about life and people which made them so successful in what they were doing, which is now part of NLP.  I have written on some of these beliefs in my other ‘Thoughts’ and some keep coming up in my life. One specific one which has great significance for me is:

“The meaning of communication is the response you get.”

To put it another way:

If the response you get is not what you want, change how and what you are communicating; it is up to YOU to change your message until you get what you want.

There is much more embedded in this belief which meets the ear or eye at first glance. It is not only about the physical language or words but also the energy it carries on a deeper implicit level. What are the thoughts which you send out every day and what is the response you get back in your life? The response is what you experience in your quality of your life on all levels: career, relationship(s), health etc. What are you consciously and unconsciously communicating which manifest as ‘your life’? If something is not the way you want, it can be really worth looking at your way of communicatingand the message you are sending out. I have quite often heard a parent angrily say to a child: “How many times must I tell you not to do thisand to listen?” Over the years as I have been working with clients with a wide range of illnesses. From an NLP perspective a chronic illness can be seen as a form of communication breakdown, this can be the body’s way of saying the same message, (how many time must I tell you?) just with ‘pain’(illness) as a way of communicating and trying to get the message over to you. Our bodies just respond to our thoughts and emotions in the same way as our life around us is the crystallized sum total effect of the same thoughts and emotions.

As a child I watched a programme ‘Maya the Bee’ a typical children’s television programme about the happy life and adventures of Maya, a honey bee. Now, 40 years later while watching a programme about the disappearance of bees all over the earth because of pesticides, a different reality struck me. Bees are so successful because of their very effective way of communicating. One bee will communicate where a new food source is through dance movements, and the whole bee community then responds by working as an interconnected whole to go out and find it. The effect that the pesticides have on the bees is a breakdown of their delicate nervous systems, which cause them to become disorientated. By not being able to communicate properly anymore, their messages get scrambled; they can’t find the new food source and they also can’t find their way back (home) to the hive, dying somewhere on their own. Using this as a parallel on different levels to humankind can be quite revealing. We often talk about a communication breakdown in our interpersonal relationships (marriage, friendships); diseases and illness are often a communication breakdown on a intrapersonal level where our cells respond to our messages (thoughts) by starting to multiply and forming cancers (emotions like fear and anger) or attacking our own bodies (auto immune diseases) with emotions like guilt, blame and shame. Our cells become disorientated and the ‘meaning’ (illness/disease) we get as a result, is most often not what we intended as a message, in the first place.

I sometimes wonder if humankind as a collective has perhaps become disorientated, and has lost its ability to find its way home. If we can remember who we are or in the words of Louise L. Hay: “.......when we touch our own true magnificence, we heal everything........”

I leave your dear reader with this last thought: 

In the Christian religion there is a story about the origin of mankind in the book of Genesis, which is about two people, Adam and Eve. In this story there is some form of communication breakdown and the end result is the loss of their ‘connection’ to God. They become disorientated and forget their godlike connection and as a result have to live a life of shame, guilt, hardship and suffering.

We live in times now where the constant message is about remembering our true magnificence. By remembering this we can make connection again and we become one and whole. I have seen the difference it makes in a person when they realise their awesomeness and uniqueness. I am sometimes puzzled with this deep collective unconscious belief in all of humankind of not being worthy or deserving and it is from this belief that most - if not all - conflict on this planet originates. If you can for one moment believe with you whole core that you are as body, mind and soul is beautiful; and that you have a purpose, and that you are an expression of unique God energy: what incredible difference would this make in your life?

When limiting emotions like excessive fear and anger disappear, we can find our way home again. Working with clients, this is often the moment of deep truth and vulnerability. Being able to say this and own it is also the path to freedom and becoming connected again. Loving and accepting yourself brings peace, joy and stillness and this allows your world to respond to the new message that you are communicating now. Your own life, and on a bigger level the whole planet and universe, can be very different.

All through the ages the prophets and saints have given us this message of remembering our own magnificence and waking up. We can either listen and remember; or we can become disorientated and lost; and like the bees we could risk disappearing altogether. The irony is that when we remember this we will also behave differently not only towards ourselves but also towards our fellow human beings, and species like rhinos and bees can flourish again.

Till next time


21 Sep 2012

Article/Information supplied by Ernest Frost

Disclaimer - Any general advice given in any article should not be relied upon and should not be taken as a substitute for visiting a qualified medical Doctor.