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Trust in relationships

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Article by Philip Johnson

Restoring Trust

Trust is an essential ingredient for partnerships. When you are open your partner is likely to be open.

"Trust is not a gift... it is too valuable to just give it away... at the most I think we might offer an invitation to you that puts me in a place where I can allow myself to trust you. It shows you that I like you and that I am willing to open myself up to the possibility of having that kind of connection; lets me put my faith in you; so I can rely on you and feel/know that you will be there. Possibly I am safe with you?  

You need to open yourself up to the possibility of trusting again, and reinforce your partner's efforts to win back your confidence. You can't punish forever, you can't be cold and distant forever, or your partner will give up trying to reconnect."

(Janis Abrahams Spring from her book - After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust when a Partner has Been Unfaithful.)

If you are willing to demonstrate with "bold, concrete steps" to show your partner you are trustworthy and if the hurt partner is open to it there is a very good chance that things may be better for you.

Socrates suggests to rigorously examine your life. Know what it is that allows you to be the way you are. People will know you for the things you DO.

Regularly exchange ideas, thoughts, feelings, how you see things with your partner, friends, family.

When others see and share things with you your relationships will prosper.

It reminds me of those first meetings lovers have when they are looking into the eyes of the beloved and sharing every intimate idea, thought, feeling... from this comes a deep understanding of the other and a recognition within the self of our thoughts and ideas. Do they match?

23 Apr 2012

Article/Information supplied by Philip Johnson

Disclaimer - Any general advice given in any article should not be relied upon and should not be taken as a substitute for visiting a qualified medical Doctor.