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New Year Resolutions

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Article by Irene Rose

Irene Rose Counselling and Psychotherapy Profile | Email
A wholistic, integrative approach to counselling and psychotherapy for individuals, couples and families. Helping you on the journey of your life... Hampton East 3188

It is common to set one or several new year's resolutions or intentions. A promise to yourself to change something about yourself, or do something new every day or week, or even to stop doing something undesirable. This is an honourable and worthwhile thing to do. However sometimes, no matter how much you want to change something in yourself, and can clearly see the benefits of changing, and the disadvantage of not changing, something gets in the way of your intention. It's like something or someone is sabotaging or reversing your undertaking. You may be aware of this, and feel the internal struggle within, or you may have forgotten about your resolution the next day and carry on as before. 


For example, Lucy (a fictitious person), may wish to go for a walk or run in the morning before work in order to get fit and lose weight. This seems simple enough, set her alarm half an hour earlier, get up and go. It doesn't cost anything, she knows she will feel better after it, have more energy, get fitter and lose some weight. She also knows that if she doesn't do any exercise, she will soon feel sluggish, have less energy and possibly put on weight. It's a no brainer! So why may it be so hard to achieve? So, it may go like this - the first day Lucy gets up with enthusiasm, goes for her run and feels really good after it for doing it and for honouring her intention. The next morning, it may be hard to get out of bed, but she still manages it. On the third morning, she may say to yourself - "I don't have to go today, it's raining, or its too cold, or too hot, or I am too tiered. I will go tomorrow." On the fourth morning, she really wants to go, but her body feels like lead and won't move out of bed, so she tells herself - "Oh, I'll just sleep a little longer and go tomorrow."  You get the idea, before long Lucy's worthwhile intention has dwindled away!


In Lucy's case, this may bring negative feelings about herself. She may call yourself lazy, unmotivated or just not strong enough. This erodes her self confidence and lessens the belief in herself to carry out future intentions. 


In another example - Paul (a very determined fictitious person) may struggle along each morning and get himself out of bed for that run. He has to use strong will and determination  to overcome the self-saboteur. This may be like an internal war and will take up a lot of his psychic energy. It may require constant effort which is hard to maintain, resulting in a continual struggle or eventually giving up. The same negative self feelings may come to Paul as for Lucy.  


Let me explain what may be going on for Lucy and Paul.  Whether we are aware of it or not, (conscious or unconscious), we often have other things going on in our psyches that are not in agreement with the original set intention. This may be a myriad of wants, needs, fears or opposing beliefs which may not even make sense to our rational mind. Nevertheless, they are there influencing our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. These are called psychological reversals, as they try to reverse the original intention. Here are some examples: A part of Lucy may not want to get fit and lose weight. Remember, this does not always make sense logically. It may be afraid of change, it may feel that she does not deserve a healthier body as her mother is sick. It may be that her mother came from a place where food was scarce and to be skinny was not regarded as desirable. It may be that a part perceives that she will get a lot more unwanted male attention. For Paul, it may be that to take care of himself is viewed by a part as selfish and indulgent. He may carry the belief that he must take care of everyone else first before he can take care of himself. 


The good news is that all these opposing beliefs can be worked with and transformed in therapy. Using Muscle Testing or sometimes called Kinesiology, these psychological reversals and beliefs can be identified. They can absolutely be cleared using Energy Work, even if they don't make sense, or there is no known reason why they should be there. It may be discovered that a belief was set up due to a past trauma or unresolved life event. In this case working with the trauma with the aid of Bi-Lateral Stimulation Processing will bring about integration and healing. In the case where a part has it's own valid agenda with opposing wants, it may be that enacting the wishes of the part through Parts Work or Symbol Work, a compromise may be negotiated between the opposing parts for the better of the whole person. Sometimes, all efforts to work consciously don't bring the desired results. In this case working in Trance, directly with the unconscious is another option. 


As you can see, with the aid of some therapy, it is possible to overcome internal obstacles that stand in the way of your new year's resolutions or any other intention that you may be struggling with.


30 Jan 2011

Article/Information supplied by Irene Rose

Disclaimer - Any general advice given in any article should not be relied upon and should not be taken as a substitute for visiting a qualified medical Doctor.