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When is Enough enough and how do you know?

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Article by Marina Levez

At what point do you get to when you say to yourself that enough is enough? Enough of what tmoral compass relationships valueshough? The pain, the torture, the lieing to not only those around you, especially your family, but more importantly to yourself. As you look at all the things that you do to escape the pain of living, if you sit back and contemplate what is going on in your life and why aren’t things just simple, you may be able to see what a continuum your moral compass takes. At any given point in time, you are faced with the dilemma of should you or should you not? Should I just do this and tell yourself that no one would actually care, and in actual fact probably wouldn’t even notice, and then on the other end of the continuum it tells you that it’s wrong and that you should do the right thing. So which way do you go?

 

Some say that it’Good vs Evil - Addiction is evil recovery is goods like having the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other, forever whispering in your ear telling you and tempting you which way to go. So how do you choose when on the inside you can virtually physically feel it in your gut that you are being pulled in different directions. What is it that makes you choose one or the other?

The Cherokee Legend of the Tale of Two Wolves explains it brilliantly https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cch7Uik6GOk. We have two wolves, a good wolf and an evil wolf, and the one that wins in the end is the one that you feed. So which one will you feed, and in actual fact which one are you currently feeding?

When looking at what each wolf stands for, I think about the words that come to mind, e.g anger, resentment, hate, self-pity, ego vs love, peace, serenity, compassion. I find that if I take a minute and actually go over each of the words, I get a true sense of the differences between the two wolves, and that it isn’t just merely the bad vs the good, it is so much more. I find it useful to look at the situation and picture in my mind how each of the words that signify the two wolves, would actually look like playing out in real life. Do I want to lie to my partner about where I have been, do I want to feel resentment and envy towards my colleague because they got the promotion, do I want to feel superior to my friend and be filled with arrogance as long as I get my way? Or do I want to be honest with my partner about where I have been and have them along side me in my struggle, do I want to be generous and feel humble in the presence of my work mate that got the promotion and think that I can learn from this person, or do i want to be compassionate and kind towards my friend and feel at peace that its okay that I don’t always have the answer and I won’t be seen as stupid?

Sure you might say that I get what I want, and I don’t have to put up with the crap that is going on when I don’t do what I want and when I want, but let’s think about and look at what the end result will be? You will loose your partner, your family, your job, your health, your finances, your marriage, your kids, your peace, your sanity, your freedom, even at times your life, literally. And for what? So that you get the pleasure of obtaining what it is that you are seeking for the gratification of feeling whatever you are pretending it is that you are chasing. Whether it be the next hit, the next high, the next win, the next distraction, the next job, the next trophy, the next promotion, the next …. the next ….. the next….. It is never ending with the list continuing as long as you continue to give it life. Will the list come to an end when your life comes to an end?

You might say but isn’t it boring to have a life that has no bad wolf, and what do you want me to turn into a saint of something. No the point has been missed, what I believe is just like the Cherokee Indian tells his grandsonanger peace addiction recovery counselling, that within each one of us there are two wolves, but its the one that you feed that wins. And of course it is up to you whether you want your life to be full of behaviours that are intent on evil or whether they are intent on being good. Not just good to other human beings, but more importantly being good to yourself. As mentioned before think of how allowing the bad wolf, has an affect on your life in all different aspects of it, and think how it would feel to be at peace and live a rich and meaningful life. Picture and feel the sense of relief you would get when you no longer have to live in the footsteps of the bad wolf.

If you feel that you are struggling, and this may be a big step because the ego may be stopping you from taking that step but is a perfect example of you continuing to feed that bad wolf, he will continue to not let you seek the support that you may need to get you through this difficult period of life at the moment. There is always hope, no matter how dire you feel your situation is. Again another example of how the bad wolf is getting you to think and feel that there is no hope. Of course the bad wolf is going to continue to make you feel that way, because as long as you hook into his way of thinking, feeling and doing, will keep him fed, and keep his counterpart the good wolf left with no nourishment. So for the bad wolf to continue being fed, he will consistently send you the bad thoughts to keep you hooked in. Becoming aware of these thoughts and feelings and taking that courageous bold step and seeking help, will help you to learn how to unhook yourself from the bad, and live a life of peace and serenity whilst always being aware of the bad wolf.

If you feel that this is you, please feel free to make an appointment to come and see me and work through whatever it may be that you are struggling with.

Marina Levez
Soothing Minds Counselling & Psychotherapy
23 Dec 2016

24 Dec 2016

Article/Information supplied by Marina Levez

Disclaimer - Any general advice given in any article should not be relied upon and should not be taken as a substitute for visiting a qualified medical Doctor.

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