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Christmas Flirtations and Relationships

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Article by Christopher Swane

Christopher Swane Counselling Psychotherapy Profile | Email | Website
Christopher Swane Counselling Psychotherapy I am a relationship and couples counsellor based in Sydney for over 5 years with a further 5 years in Europe. I also assist clients with grief and loss counselling. Psychotherapy/counselling for men single men or part of relationship counselling and counselling for anxiety and depression. 254 Henderson Road
Australia 2015
0405 606 330

Christmas Flirtations and Relationships

During our lifetime we all may experience times in our relationships that we may regret. This can be especially true when it’s an inappropriate flirtation with someone of the opposite sex or the same sex. These inappropriate flirtations can often occur when we have had one too many drinks. Christmas and the New Year is a time when there are many office parties and social gatherings it’s also a time when people over indulge and may do, or say, silly things that they may regret later.

But how serious is a little office or social flirtation? That may depend on the type of connection you presently have with your partner.

If you are in an honest and open relationship where it is possible to discuss office and social flirtation, then it’s probably not a concern. Many couples who are totally honest with each other accept their partner’s flirtations. It’s normal for people to feel attracted to someone other than their partner. It would be unusual to live your whole married life and only find your partner attractive. Research has shown that couples who are able discuss their attractions and flirtations are less likely to have affairs and are less likely to be secretive.

But what happens if you are in a relationship where the smallest indiscretion can lead to weeks of arguments? How would you react to a partner who was constantly jealous who regularly checked on your movements, texts or emails. Then you may choose to hide your innocent office flirtations. If you fear your eyes wandering for a moment may provoke your partner to fly off into a jealous rage, then you may become secretive and start to develop a separate life.

If you constantly feel that you are walking on eggshells around your partner. That whatever you say is misconstrued and you are not allowed to communicate your feelings or thoughts. You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Uncontrolled green eyed jealous rage is not solely the domain of men. Women may also experience jealous rage. Jealousy may indicate that your partner does not feel secure in the relationship. Or they may experiencing low self-esteem or low self-worth. Developing open and honest communication may assist your relationship to develop and help your partner feel secure.  Anger and jealousy are normal emotions. We all experience them at different times and with different intensity. But it’s what we do with them that is important. Remember that jealousy and anger are strong emotions and we generally prefer not to feel them. Finding compromises that will assist you and your partner acknowledge and deal with anger and jealousy will lead to a happier more positive relationship.

Suppressing feelings of anger or jealousy may lead to further complications in your relationship, or may lead to poor physical or mental health. If you supress feelings they may leak out into the relationship over time in different ways. You may become very controlling, increasingly irritable, depressed, and anxious or start to self-medicate with alcohol or drugs.

If you feel you or your partner has a problem with jealous then seeing a counsellor may assist finding ways to manage these emotions more affectively.

10 Dec 2014

Article/Information supplied by Christopher Swane

Disclaimer - Any general advice given in any article should not be relied upon and should not be taken as a substitute for visiting a qualified medical Doctor.